Staying True to Yourself in the Chaos of the Holidays

Let’s be honest:
The holidays can be… a lot.

The constant rushing.
The pressure to make everything perfect.
The expectations from family.
The running around, the parties, the shopping, the cooking, the emotional energy of it all.

Everyone talks about the magic of the season, but no one talks about how overwhelming it can feel when you’re trying to keep up.

And for someone like me, someone who spent years living for everyone else, trying to hold everything together with shaky hands, the holidays used to bring up something deeper:

A reminder of how hard I struggled to create the “traditional holiday cheer” for my kids when I could barely take care of myself.

I remember those years too clearly.
Trying so hard to make Christmas magical…
Trying to give them the moments and memories I never had…
Trying to fill the gap of raising kids without their father…

All while scrambling, exhausted, broke, overwhelmed, and fighting silent battles no one ever saw.

The holidays didn’t feel joyful.
They felt like pressure.
Like proof that I wasn’t enough.
Like a spotlight on everything I couldn’t give, even though I was giving absolutely everything I had.

The Holidays Have a Way of Pulling You Back Into Old Patterns

This time of year brings out the part of you that:

• says yes to everything
• tries to make everyone happy
• hides how overwhelmed you are
• pushes yourself past your limits
• ignores your own needs
• sacrifices your peace just to keep the peace

I know her.
She lived inside me for years.

Working four jobs.
Running on fumes.
Relying on anything I could to numb the exhaustion and shame.
Trying to make Christmas feel full so my kids wouldn’t feel the empty spaces.
Trying so hard to be everything for everyone, except myself.

The holidays didn’t cause my pain…
they just made it impossible to hide.

But Here’s the Beautiful Part: You Can Reclaim Yourself

Sobriety didn’t give me a magical life overnight.
Healing didn’t happen in one big, dramatic moment.
My awakening came slowly, one honest moment at a time.

Tiny boundaries.
Tiny pauses.
Tiny decisions that honored me.
And little by little, the holidays started feeling like something I could navigate… not something I had to survive.

And that’s what I want for you too.

How to Stay True to Yourself During Holiday Chaos

1. Give yourself breathing room

Step away when you need to.
Collect yourself.
Your wellbeing matters more than pretending you’re okay.

2. Say no without guilt

You're allowed to protect your energy.
Your peace is enough of a reason.

3. Release the “perfect holiday” fantasy

Your kids don’t remember perfect.
They remember how you made them feel: loved, safe, cared for.
Presence matters more than presentation.

4. Ask yourself: What do I want this season?

More rest?
More simplicity?
More real connection?
Less pressure?

This is your life.
You deserve a say in how it feels.

5. Guard your energy like it’s sacred

Because it is.
You’ve worked too hard to fall back into the version of you who disappeared for everyone else.

6. Give yourself credit; true, real, deep credit

Look at the life you’ve walked through.
Look at the strength you didn't even know you had.
Look at how far you’ve come even on your hardest days.

 And if You’re Currently Struggling… This is for You

If you’re reading this and thinking:
“This is my life right now. I feel exactly like she did.”
I want you to hear me clearly…

There is nothing wrong with you.
You are not failing.
You are not behind.
You are not alone.

You are in a hard season.. that’s all.
And hard seasons don’t mean you’re powerless; they mean you’re human.

I know what it feels like to force cheer when you feel empty.
To try your best while carrying more than anyone realizes.
To hold your kids together while holding in your tears.
To question if you’ll ever feel joy, peace, or stability again.

So here is your hope:

• You won’t feel like this forever.
• You are stronger than this moment.
• You are allowed to prioritize yourself, even now.
• You are allowed to rest, breathe, and not have all the answers.
• You are already doing better than you think.

And when you choose even one small thing for yourself, even something tiny, it creates a crack of light.
And light grows.

The New Year Gives You a Fresh Start

Not to become a “new you,”
but to become more you.

The New Year asks you gently:

“What do I truly want for myself?”

Answering that question, honestly,  is where healing starts.

A Little Gift to Support You Into the New Year

If this season feels heavy, chaotic, or overwhelming…
If you’re tired of losing yourself in the noise…
If you feel like you’re reading your own story in mine…

I’d love to talk with you.

I’m offering a free 30-minute coaching consultation — no pressure, no judgment, just a safe space for you to breathe and reconnect with yourself.

Because you deserve a holiday season that supports your heart, not one that breaks it.

And you deserve to enter the New Year grounded, hopeful, and ready to rise into the version of you that’s been waiting.